Marriage Mentoring

 vm3-two-colorMARRIAGE MENTORING MINISTRY – VM3

Victory Church Marriage Mentoring Ministry (VM3) consists of eleven mentoring sessions aimed at developing strong and healthy marriages and families in our church and community. The program is directed by Victory Church members, Dave and Joyce Swiadek and administered by trained volunteer mentor couples. This truly is church at its best. Couples helping couples with lessons for life.

PROGRAM APPLICABILITY

Marriage mentoring is appropriate for couples who are struggling in their marriage and who are committed to making it work. Prior to being assigned a mentor couple all couples are evaluated to make sure mentoring is the best approach for their issues. Those couples experiencing challenges needing more specialized attention may be referred to a pastoral or professional counselor as an alternative to mentoring. For more information call the church office at (863) 859-6000 and ask for the VictoryCare Department. You may also send an email to care@victorylakeland.org

LINKS TO FORMS  (online or printable)

SESSION DETAILS

  • SESSION 1 & 2 – Marriage Satisfaction Inventory:  During the initial session, introductions and ground rules are established and a proposed schedule is agreed upon. The Marriage Satisfaction Inventory is given in session one. Results are discussed in session two.
  • SESSION 3 – Effective Communication:  Covers the basics regarding effective speaking and listening. Relevant items include: understanding communication styles, limiting superlatives, ensuring eye contact, eliminating barriers to communication, focusing on feelings.  The “Spoon Technique” is covered.
  • SESSION 4 – Temperaments:  Uses a professional inventory to help couples better understand how their individual temperaments affect items such as perception, communication, level of activity, stress management, etc. Often, understanding this alone can have an extremely positive impact. The book, “Personality Plus for Couples” by Florence Littauer is provided to the mentee couple.
  • SESSON 5 – Love Languages:  Uses an inventory based on the very popular book “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary D. Chapman. The main idea in this session is to ensure couples know what makes their partner feel loved and speak the appropriate love language to them and not just use the love language they themselves prefer.
  • SESSION 6 – Conflict Resolution:  Introduces the concept of the Love-Anger Cycle. Elaborates on the difference between Conflict Negotiation and Conflict Resolution. Teaches how to use the very detailed and effective “Conflict Resolution V” to help resolve major issues that seem to recycle.
  • SESSION 7 – Financial Relationship:  Uses two separate inventories from the book, “First Comes Love, Then Comes Money” by Bethany and Scott Palmer, which is provided to the mentee couple. The basic idea of this session is that we each have a different money “personality” that dictates how we use money and how we handle the stress it brings into a relationship.
  • SESSION 8 – Sexual Intimacy:  Uses a questionnaire based on John McCluskey’s “Lovemaking Cycle” covered in Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau’s book, “A Celebration of Sex”. McCluskey’s model is described as a relational/emotional model of sex, while Masters and Johnson’s model is purely physical.
  • SESSION 9 – Spiritual Intimacy:  Uses a questionnaire found in the same session of the mentoring program used by The Biola Center for Marriage & Relationships.
  • SESSION 10 – Growth:  This session helps couples set goals and objectives for themselves and their relationship. This is a working session where the couple writes down goals, agrees on mutual objectives, and sets a firm plan for meeting them. A key idea is that each couple should want their marriage to leave a lasting legacy and that each partner should act in the best interest of the marriage.
  • SESSION 11 – Review and Assess:  During this session, the couple gets the opportunity to look back over the mentoring process and discuss what has worked best and review any items that may need a refresher.  A very important part of this session is letting the mentee couple know that their feedback is crucial to the success of the program. To that end, they are given a feedback questionnaire. They may either fill it out and return it to the mentor couple at the session or they can send it to the program directors.

Cost of the program is $50 to defray materials. Scholarships are available for church members who may not be able to afford this cost.